Of curling, aborigine costumes, infomercials and "red light photo enforced" zones ...

Thoughts, musings, gripes, suggestions and what have you, as the Games of the XXIII Winter Olympiad come to an end ...

--Since I've swept a few kitchen floors in my day -- and have played shuffleboard in a sports bar -- I figured that I, too, could compete on an Olympic curling team.

--I can't say I was surprised to see a story on some online news service about the Canadian Foundation for AIDS preparing to send an emergency shipment of condoms to the Olympics. What puzzles me is that no one in Vancouver has called for emergency shipments of Viagra or Cialis!

--I couldn't get enough of watching the Olympic ski jump competition. It has to be quite a rush to stretch out over one's skis, float through the air, stay airborne for as long as you can -- and then make a perfect landing without breaking your neck. Yet they make it look so easy. Amazing!

--What's with the two Russian ice dancers (left) decked out in some colorful (almost psychedelic), yet downright strange Australian aborigine costume? Is this "What Not to Wear" or the Winter Olympics?

--I'm sure you've seen the countless infomercials promising rock-hard abs after 90 days. Funny thing is, most of the individuals in the before/after photos look better before they started than after!

--Speaking of infomercials II: Recently, I sat through an infomercial featuring Matthew Lesko -- the ultra-hyper fellow who dons suits dotted with question marks and hawks books that claim you can get hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars simply by applying for government programs. I'm convinced Lesko is the cure for anyone suffering from insomnia. Watching him jump around and yell for a few minutes will drain you of all your energy ... and you're guaranteed to fall asleep.

--Speaking of infomercials III: Has anyone seen a Richard Simmons infomercial lately?

--With spring just around the corner, I noticed Al Gore, head alarmist for the global warming movement, came out of hibernation this weekend with a lengthy manifesto on the New York Times op-ed page (what a surprise), titled, "We can't wish away climate change." Personally, I wish this charlatan would take a private jet to the North Pole and go sit on a melting glacier.

--I'm not downplaying the seriousness of all the mechanical flaws involving Toyota vehicles which have come to light in recent weeks -- specifically defects that cause cars to accelerate out of control. Yet I found it amusing that the House oversight committee grilled the president of Toyota for several hours over these issues. Personally, I think several members of Congress from both sides of the aisle ought to be sitting in front of a subcommittee and apologizing to us for their out-of-control spending that's bankrupting the country.

--If the McRib sandwich were a regular part of the menu at McDonald's, I'd be running through their drive-thru every day to pick one up.

--It must be a slow news day when Desiree Rogers, the White House social secretary, announces that she is resigning and looking for a new gig. (It's safe to assume she won't be sending her resume to either John Edwards or Tiger Woods.)

--It's been quite a while since I've gone to a first-run theater. Why? Well, since I can't understand most film titles nowadays -- Examples: The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, Karthik Calling Karthik and Invictus -- I figure I won't understand the plot, either. So why spend the money?

--If I had a dollar for every time I've passed up a driver who's either punching numbers on his or her cell phone -- or blabbing on their cell phone -- I'd have retired a long time ago.

--I don't condone violence, but just once, I'd like to take a sledge hammer to one of these "red light photo enforced" camera sets (left). Consider yourself fortunate if you don't have to contend with these devices at every other block in your community.

--Today, I read a story about the plight of a major league baseball player who's shocked that spring training is under way, and he remains unemployed. Keep in mind he's turned down a few offers this winter -- one for $3 million per season. I guess he could always apply for unemployment benefits while he's still looking.

--I wish I were facing the hardships of some of the people who call into Bob Brinker's "Money Talk" radio program each Saturday and ask Bob what they should do with either a pile of cash they're sitting on, or their investment properties.