Which gender likes to play footsie with the dashboard? And why?

It's well-documented that women talk more than men. I've heard most women utter an average of 20,000 words per day, compared to around 7,000 per day used by most men.

I won't dispute these numbers. But I will note that between speaking, writing and thinking -- mind you, I consider thinking as the art of having a conversation with oneself -- I probably hit the 20K mark every day.

We all know there are other notable differences between men and women:

• Most women love cats. Most men say nice things about their wife's or girlfriend's cat in their presence ... then they'll offer a different perspective when they're out with the boys.
• Most men hate watching figure skating and/or "Dancing With the Stars," while most women sit glued to the tube when either show comes on. (I'm one of those sensitive men, however, who tunes in every so often to "The Bachelor" just to watch the catfights ... and to see who he dumps at the end of the program.)
• Putting smiley faces in e-mails is definitely a girl thing. Any man who enjoys putting smiley faces in his e-mails, well, don't be surprised if you see him in boot camp with one of those drill sergeants on Maury Povich.
• Women like to dance. You'll only see me out cutting the rug if the band plays "Walk Like an Egyptian" by The Bangels.
• Men will ask for directions only as a last resort. (Me? Guilty as charged.) Women stop and ask for directons the moment they feel they're lost.
• Most women I know are Cubs fans, and I've figured out why. They're already used to men letting them down time and time again (and they like teddy bears). What's your excuse, fellas?

Men do things that women find either irritating or disgusting, such as not listening, belching at high decible levels, emitting flatulence at inopportune moments (do you really want me to say "passing gas" on a family blog?) ... and leaving the toilet seat up. OK, ladies; you've got us there.

But contrary to popular belief, men are not as clueless as women might think. In fact, I've discovered a trait that's unique to women simply by being observant on the highways and byways. I'd even bet this trait has never been analyzed or discussed on Oprah.

Let's say it's a warm day. A lady happens to be sitting in the passenger seat with either her husband or significant other behind the wheel. She gets comfy, kicks off her shoes and plops her bare feet up on the dashboard.

I have never, ever -- ever -- seen a guy with his bare feet up on the dashboard.

So, if you're a woman who sticks her bare feet up on the dashboard, I'm not picking on you. I'm just curious. In the interest of better understanding between the sexes, please shed some light as to why you do what you do.

It can't be to dry the polish on your toenails. Or to tan your metatarsals through the windshield.

The comments section below is all yours ...

The Most Interesting Man in the World (Part 2: New Lines)

My fascination with Dos Equis' "Most Interesting Man in the World" commercials continues ...

A little trivia on the actor who plays "The Most Interesting Man in the World" (what other blog provides you with such vital information!): His real name is Jonathan Goldsmith, who'll be 72 in September. His accent in the commercials, by the way, is fake. The accent mimicks that of Fernando Lamas, a friend of Goldsmith's who was an Argentine-born American actor and director (Lamas died several years ago).

According to Wikipedia, Goldsmith has appeared on over 45 TV series, including Dynasty, Eight Is Enough, Hawaii Five-O, Knots Landing, Magnum P.I., The A-Team and Dallas. ("Who Shot J.R.?" had Dallas fans on the edge of their seats in 1980. But since Goldsmith appeared 13 times on Dallas, there's no doubt he was the star of the show, not J.R. So a little revisionist history is in order: It's not "Who Shot J.R." but "Who shot J.G.?")

Here's a video clip of Goldsmith being interviewed at the 2009 World Music Awards by an obviously star-struck young lady (whose line of questioning, I must say, wasn't particularly interesting). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Brkx_6wKNhQ&feature=related

Last week, we mentioned that a new batch of Dos Equis commercials has hit the airwaves (both television and radio). Here's video from one of those spots: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zD6jKvqTO8

These ads have spawned a host of fresh lines that build on his already impeccable legacy ...

• Signs that say, "This is not an exit," don't apply to him.
• He likes the word "fog."
• His business card just says, "I'll call you."
• He once challenged his own reflection to a staring contest ... on the fourth day, he won."
• If he rides with you in your car, its resale value will instantly increase.
• The contents of his tacos refuse to fall from the shell.
• If you were to see him walking a Chihuahua, it would still look masculine. 
• The Aztec calendar has his birthday chiseled in.
• Dicing onions doesn't make him cry...it only makes him stronger.
• He once went to a psychic ... to warn her.
• He has been the Best Man at weddings for grooms he has never even met.

If you've seen (or heard) the commercials, what are a few of your favorite lines? Please share them in comments (below).

The Most Interesting Man in the World (not me -- the commercials!)

Like many of you, I'm sure, I've been entertained by beer commercials for as long as I can remember.

A few years ago, Miller conducted an advertising campaign called "Man Laws," which I thought was quite amusing. A group of celebrities (among them: Burt Reynolds, ex-Pittsburgh Steeler running back Jerome Bettis and current NFL analyst Jimmy Johnson) who were deemed "Men of the Square Table," sat around a square table and issued edicts for what is (or is not) a proper response to common male situations, such as: "Your best friend is dumped by his girlfriend. How long before you can ask her out?" Or "What does Man Law say about hugging other guys?"

Admittedly, I do get a chuckle out of recent Miller Lite commercials in which men express more fondness for their beer than their girlfriends. One, in particular, shows a couple sitting at a bar/restaurant. The fellow's girlfriend tells him she loves him. He, in turn, gets tongue-tied. (Here's the video clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynZ5okiPAhk&feature=related)

Bud Light's "Real Men of Genius" spots are good for some laughs (here's a sample video clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFfq6J-rKns). And a new series of radio ads by Miller Lite comparing great-tasting beer to average-tasting beer has piqued my interest, as well. ("Ever get attacked by an average white shark? I have ... in the form of a week-old tuna fish sandwich." And "If the Great Wall of China was the Average Wall of China, it would run through the city of Shang-low (instead of Shanghi).")

However, as creative as these advertisements are, they simply can't hold a candle to Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man in the World" advertising campaign. If I happen to be flipping through channels, or listening to the radio in my car, and I come across a "Most Interesting Man in the World" commercial, I turn up the volume ... even if I've already heard a particular commercial numerous times.

Truth be told, I've sampled Dos Equis (please don't tell my church pastor) and, frankly, it doesn't taste very good. In fact, I don't particularly like beer, and I turn my nose up at most alcoholic beverages. It's just that these Dos Equis spots feature some of the most clever lines I've heard in a long time. Here's a video clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYdwe3ArFWA&feature=related

The Most Interesting Man in the World literally can do no wrong. And the world literally revolves around him.

A few of the most memorable lines that describe The Most Interesting Man in the World:

• He lives vicariously ... through himself.
• He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.
• It is said that the sun rises later on May 6th in case his Cinco de Mayo parties run later than planned.
• Whatever side of the tracks he’s currently on, is the right side. If he were to cross them, he would still be on the right side.
• He has won the same lifetime achievement award -- twice.
• If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
• He has never lost a sock. 
• The police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
• If he were to give you directions, you'd never get lost. And you would arrive at least 5 minutes early. 
• His shirts never wrinkle.

New TV and radio commercials with The Most Interesting Man in the World have been airing the past few months. We'll be providing the best lines from these new spots in our next post. Until then, "Stay thirsty, my friends!"